It's Time To Remember What The Danes Did To Us

By 28 June 2018

People in Croatia like Denmark. They think it's one of the best countries in the world to live. They respect everything about the high quality of life on Jutland. They believe Danish people are smart, healthy, educated, good looking, worldly and happy.

It's in all the polls anyway. Denmark is amazing, Copenhagen is the Venice of the North, and most of us would switch places with them tomorrow. But... the game is coming! We have to stop thinking about your amazing urban planing and start viewing you as our rival! So we have to think of all the times we've cursed you!

Hans Christian Andersen – ''The Little Match Girl'' 

You made generations and generations of Croats cry! Why!? Why would you do that?! Bambi's mom getting shot has nothing on this! Romeo and Julia look like a comedy compared to the Little Match Girl. It takes a real piece of work to also put alabel saying ''for kids'' on it. One day, your child is happy and at one with nature, maybe even developing telekinetic abilities, you don't know, and then BAM! He's back from school, his little soul completely crushed, and the world will never be bright again.


Yeah, yeah, everyone loves Lego, I know. I love it too. It's just amazing. My favourite was a pirate lego set. I would play for days! I would pillage and plunder, kill with my saber, kill with my pistol, kill with my rifle, kill with my hook, kill with my shark, kill with my monkey, kill with my parrot! I would spend days, just stealing gold bars and massacring the high seas. My friends would have hospital sets, space station sets, whole cities and traffic, but I would just spread terror and keelhaul landlubbers. Awww, childhood. But I also have flat feet. I would play with legos wearing boots. For stepping on one of those monsters, was like an ancient Viking torture. While we're on that subject...


Cool. Pretty Cool. Nowadays anyway. Back in the 11th century... they weren't that cool. Some of the Viking conquerors came all the way down to the Dalmatian coast, we believed they were tourists. Sure, the bill for the fish and the coffee was too high, but they shouldn't have killed our king. Poor Petar Krešimir IV, he was maybe our greatest king, the one without the scurvy.

Greenland and the Faroe Islands – Really?!

Who just has an island that is bigger than his country? Would you please give those people their own state? Come on! Being ruled by a foreign kingdom far away? It sounds like you're the bad guys in every SF/fantasy movie ever. They already have a bear and a ram on their flags, they deserve that UN seat. #freegreenland – I'm starting it.


We love it. You love it. The rest of the world has never heard about it. Handball?! You mean basketball? No. American football? No. Rugby? No. I give up. But the Danes know. They're the masters when it comes to handball, and so are we. In world cup terms - if they're Brazil, we're Argentina, and if they're Italy, then we're Germany. We clashed many times before, and it was never easy. You kicked us out of the championships and took our medals in front of our noses. We'd fight in the groups, semi-finals, and finals. There were many nights we cursed you more than Hamlet did, and there were nights of joy. We wouldn't mind you showing us some of that handball magic on the football field. Let the best handballer (Lovren) win!