I Hadn't Even Fried an Egg Until I Turned 19: A Brutally Honest Job Application

By 17 April 2018

"I've been living with my mother-in-law for the last 10 years and we get along phenomenally. If that doesn't prove I'm a team player, I can't imagine what would." A different take on looking for work, on April 17, 2018


Anyone who's ever been looking for a job for more than two of three months knows how exhausting the process can be. Countless hours spent writing applications and polishing your résumé to get it into a picture-perfect shape, all the while knowing it'll most likely end up thrown on a pile of equally polished applications that won't be paid a second glance. The best you can hope for is a polite 'we will get back to you', and the worst... it's not getting rejected, as in that case you at least know you can cross that one off your list. The worst is the most frequent outcome: total silence on the other side. You know it's bad when you actually start hoping for a 'no', it being better than getting totally ignored. 

So, every once in a while, it's more than natural to snap and stop with the platitudes, instead deciding to write a brutally honest job application. To tell it like it is, so to speak, and even though the honest approach maybe won't score you the coveted spot, it'll definitely make for a cathartic experience - and it just might serve to entertain all of us who have been in the same position at one point.

A woman named Ana Bilen published a looking-for-work status on Facebook a couple of days ago, one so straightforward and feisty, it has since spread all over social media like wildfire. Here's a translation of her original appeal:

"Good day, my name is Ana Bilen. I got tired of writing regular job applications because I'd never got a job I really wanted that way. So I'm now writing from the heart to say what I really want to say, instead of just complying with the standard application format. This is why I'll write spontaneously, in dialect, which doesn't mean I'm illiterate, I know how to write all of this in standard Croatian.

So, who am I? I'm a woman of almost 29. I'm a mom of two children aged 9 and 5. Yes, you've read it correctly, 9 and 5. Yes! I became a mom before I turned 20. Also, I celebrated my 9th wedding anniversary this year in February. Yes, I got married at 19! I moved out of my parents' place in Split when I was 19 and went to live in Klana. Let's get straight to answering the questions that are going 'round your head at the moment. The answer to the first question is: Klana is a small town near Rijeka (that's how the residents of Klana would put it, but in reality, it's a small place in the middle of nowhere that's closer to Slovenia than to Rijeka).

To answer the second question: yes, I got used to living in Klana (people can get used to just about anything). To answer the third: because I love my Man and I'd follow him to the end of the world. How do I know what you're thinking about? Not because I'm too smart to be true, but because I've been answering those same questions for the last 10 years.

Now, why am I even telling you all this? Because it says more about me as a person and worker than three college degrees would (if I had them). I think every employer cares most about his employees being hardworking people and team players. Why? Because I might as well have three college degrees (which I don't), but if I'm not willing to work, those three degrees of mine won't be of much use to my employer. The same thing goes for experience. Just cause I might have worked at one place for 10 years doesn't mean I'm necessarily a good employee, nor does it mean I know how to work. I might be an uhljeb. BUT, if I have a strong will to work, I'll learn everything that needs to be learned, even the stuff that has nothing to do with my education.


I hadn't as much as fried an egg until I turned 19. Come to think of it, I'd never even turned on the stove. (I know this doesn't really play to my advantage, so keep reading.) I had a grandma who did everything for my brother and me (I still have her, she's alive, but in Split). If I weren't hardworking, there's no chance I would've headed 400 km away from home where I used to have everything served on a plate, as if I were a princess. I learned how to do everything on my own - to cook, to clean, and to take care of a small child.

Team player.
I got married at 19.5 and I'm still married, happily. Period. Nuff said. 
And yes, I've been living with my mother-in-law for the last 10 years and we get along phenomenally. If this doesn't prove I'm a team player, I can't imagine what would.

Fighter. And determined.
I don't know whether employers like their workers feisty, but I consider it a personal quality. Who do I think I'm a fighter? I don't think, I know it. Because I learned I had a tumor when I was 15, and I had it cured when I was 15. Chemo, radiation, I've done it all. Every day after radiotherapy, I went to school even though I didn't have to, I could've been lying at home as I had every right to do so. When I had a check-up 7 years ago, I brought along my 2-year-old daughter, only to have the doctor ask me whose child it was. Mine, I said. And he goes: it's definitely not yours, you can't have children! A fab statement. To tell a woman her child isn't hers. As if I could forget having given birth! Why did I tell you this? To show you I'm capable of doing even what can't be done, hahaha.

There you go! If I'm not a desirable employee, I don't know who is. Young, capable, smart, gave birth to two and isn't planning on more, been a housewife for some time now so can't wait to start working, I mean.... TO WISH FOR!

So, if anyone wants me (as an employee), contact me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

Of course, along with my application, I'll send you a resumé in which you will see where I've worked so far. And you'll also get a photo of me, so you'll get to see what an alien who gets along with their mother-in-law looks like."

What a wild ride. Good luck, Ana!