Something has been bugging me since I woke up this morning, but I couldn't put my finger on it until it suddenly dawned on me: we haven't complained about unreasonable prices for a while!
Thankfully, social media comes to the rescue, providing us with yet another creative example of Croatian restaurateurs trying to get the most out of the tourist season. A restaurant guest posted a photo on Facebook showing a menu from an unnamed pizzeria in Milna town on Brač island.
Under the last item on the menu, two additional services are listed. The first is 'table setting', a service that will cost you 12 kuna per person. Nothing wrong with that, and I'm a bit surprised by the number of people getting all shocked over this feature as the so-called couvert is charged in every respectable establishment in existence. I'm more offended by those LAZAGNE up there. Actually, LAZAGNE might be the answer to my own question, as no respectable establishment would allow for such a fiasco to be printed in their menus. The longer you stare, the funnier it gets.
Things only get better from this point on, as it's the item underneath that got the general public all worked up.
In this particular pizzeria, if you want your pizza cut into slices before it's served, you'll be charged an additional amount of 3 kuna per slice. It's unclear whether you can ask for a desired number of slices, or if instead of the regular 4-6, you'll be served with a pizza cut into 16 narrow triangles. What? You didn't specify how many you want. That'll be 48 kuna, thank you very much.
As expected, people had a lot to say about this.
I'd brush off the issue of prices if we were talking about coffee in Dubrovnik, but this time, I'm standing by the crowd's opinion. What even is a pizza-cutting fee? What kind of a business move is that? I don't have a problem with the owners trying to save up for winter, but couldn't that be done by - oh I don't know, raising the pizza prices for a couple of kuna and avoiding public embarrassment?
Coming up with the idea to introduce a pizza-cutting fee and actually going through with it is not only shameless, but quite brave as well. I can't think of a person who wouldn't mock this; you got to hand it to the restaurant management for being bold enough to raise the Croatian 'ridiculous charges' bar a little bit higher.
Come to think of it, they're just being smart – whoever's too lazy to cut their own pizza is probably willing to add a few kuna on top of the starting price just to get out of the dreary knife-wielding. I'm joking, of course – if you happen to get a craving for some pizza in Milna, make sure to check the menu first.